Ok so this isn’t my story, but it’s too good not to share! (30 Dates fans may recognise it from my dating blog – it remains the funniest Tinder story I’ve ever heard).
As a dating blogger I was always being told about people’s ‘funny stories’ or ‘awful dates’ but this was by the far the best. I was at a house party and one of the hosts brought his neighbour over to me, specifically to tell me her brilliantly awful Tinder story.
My friend’s neighbour was in her very early twenties, just finishing her final year at Uni in London. She matched with a friend of a friend on Tinder, and they went on a pretty good first date. When he asked her out a second time, she agreed, but the second date didn’t go so well.
Not wanting to offend him, when he asked her out on a third date, she started trying to make excuses instead. Every time he suggested an evening, she’d say she was busy, or find a reason not to meet.
Finally, the Tinder Date suggested a drink on a Friday night. “I can’t,” she lied. “I’ve got lectures until late, and then I’m off to Oxford for the weekend to visit friends.”
Undeterred, the Tinder Date found a pub between the her university and the bus station. “Just stop for one drink on your way to Oxford, it’s been ages, I’d really love to see you.”
Again, she didn’t want to let him down because of their mutual friend. And so, she decided to meet him for a quick drink. Except she wasn’t at university that day, and she wasn’t planning on going to Oxford. Realising she needed to look like she was going away for a weekend, she quickly packed a travel bag. She didn’t want to carry around a heavy bag, and so she filled the holdall with cushions from the sofa. After all, she wasn’t going anywhere … it just needed to look like she was!
The girl turned up at the bar, pretending she’d just come from University. The Tinder Date ordered a drink, and conversation began to flow. Suddenly she found herself more interested in the Tinder Date than she had expected to be. One drink, turned into two, which turned into five, and suddenly The Tinder Date was worrying that the she might miss her coach.
He checked the timetable, and insisted she leave to go and get her bus.
“I’ll be fine!” the girl tried to drunkenly argue, but her date was having none of it. The Tinder Date seemed like a really nice guy, and determined not to be responsible for making her miss her mythical bus journey, he paid the bill, hailed a cab, and put my friend’s neighbour in it.
He paid the driver, and told him “Make sure she gets on the last bus to Oxford. She’s had a bit to drink, but she needs to get on the bus!”
The taxi took off, and my friend’s neighbour tried to redirect him back to her house. “Sorry miss, the fella’s paid me for the journey already, and I’ve made a promise to get you on the last bus!”
“But it’s all a lie!” she tried to argue. The more she argued, the more drunk and out of control she seemed.
Finally she decided to get out at the bus station, and then catch another taxi home. But when she got out of the cab, so did the taxi driver.
“I’ve got a responsibility to get you on that bus!” he grinned, guiding her towards the Oxford coach, and even going so far as to step onboard with her. On board, he repeated the instructions he’d been given by the Tinder Date. “Please can you make sure she gets to Oxford ok? She’s quite drunk, but she needs to be on the bus!”
By this point the girl had given up arguing. She waited for the taxi driver to leave, and then said to the bus driver. “Please can you drop me at the next stop? I really don’t need to go to Oxford!” The next stop was Oxford Park and Ride … and the bus driver refused to stop anywhere else.
My friend’s neighbour ended up stranded in Oxford, in the middle of the night, with no way to get home, and a bag full of sofa cushions!
You couldn’t make this sh*t up!